Nocturne of Coughs in E Minor

Coughin' and Chopin, these are two words to describe February thus far. My month's been conducted in E minor as I work through Chopin's two easiest pieces, and probably the two gloomiest as well. It's only fitting that they would become the soundtrack of my life as I work on them. It's not that my life is gloomy right now, it's beautiful, like Chopin's pieces. It's just, well, minor. It's no waltz. It has a lulling pull and tug to it that weighs down on my soul.I'm dragging it around with me, and laboriously lifting it to keep my spirits up. But somehow I still manage to carry it with me. I'm lifting it up everyday I go to school, pack it on in to my 15 lb backpack, sling it over my shoulder, and trudge on.

We did an exercise in my youth group the other night. The theme of the talk was "Living for a Purpose," and it was about how we were all given distinct and unique gifts that we are to contribute to the world in a way only we can. Then at the end of the night we all had to tape pieces of paper on our backs and go around and write on our friends backs the gifts we see in them. At the end of the night we all took the papers off and saw what others see in us. I was surprised by some of the things people had written, "Inspiration in my faith", "I want my future daughter to be like you", "Great musician and shares openly", "strong in Spirit." All the while I'm trying to figure out if I can recognize the handwriting because it's all anonymous. I couldn't figure out any of them, so I don't know who to thank, but all those kind words really built me up. I'm glad I can be an inspiration to someone, I'm glad people aren't seeing all the faults that I see. Or at least they aren't mean enough to write them, so at least I have good friends. But the one that I keep in the front of my mind was scribbled in green felt pen: "Comes back from anything."

So I trudge on. In the rain, through heartbreak and disappointment, through days that just feel blah, through a hacking cough that has lasted two weeks now. Nothing has stopped me yet. I haven't been given a lot of grief, thank God, not yet. But I'm training for it. I pick up my 15 lb backpack daily, I lug around my soul, I tediously work through these Chopin pieces so I can finally be done with E minor. I power through, I gain endurance, I come back. I won't let that person down. I will come back from anything.

Empowered and invigorated,
~Kat