Dejected, Maddened, and Vexed

Put the first letters of that title together and what do you get? The DMV.

I show up at 3:15 with my mother to get my permit, which is two years too late. It's Friday afternoon, right when everyone is getting off of work and school. It had a striking resemblance to a can of sardines. Let's see if we squeeze in two more moaning motorists. We are ushered into the slough to stand single file between black ropes.

Line #1: Approximately 30 people long and at a stand still. Ten minutes later, we moved up two spots, "Shoot, my registration information is in the car." Bye, Mom, sure I'll wait here. And as soon as she walks out of the building the line starts moving like the well-lubricated machine the DMV should be a century after its introduction. I reach the front of the line in 5 minutes, and she's not back. I start waving people to go ahead of me, 3 people pass me by. One man jokes, "So your just the pretty greeter?" At that point I was really hoping my mom would be back soon, although I was flattered. She returns, we are called up, "Oh no you don't need that [the registration]," the man says and gives us a number.

Line#2: Who knows how many people were ahead of us. We find blue plastic chairs to sit in around the perimeter of the room. 20 more minutes and it's our turn. Sign a few forms, staple staple, "Good luck, wait over there for your picture."

Line#3: About 30 people long again, another 20 minutes, thumbprint, stand over there, 3, 2, 1, click. Printing receipt, staple staple. "Now you'll take your written exam over there." By this time I had forgotten about the test, and couldn't believe they made you do all of this stuff first, and you don't even know if you passed yet. Boy it would suck if I didn't and wasted all this time.

Line #4: Now I'm getting anxoius. The line is 20 people long, I'm waiting 5 minutes, "Do you need a test?" Me: "Um, yes." DMV lady: "Oh, you don't need to be waiting there, here." Hands me a test, sends me over to stand in a stall and squirm, marking little Xs next to the choice I think is the least idiotic. I go to the desk when I finish, "What do you want?"..."I'm done?" "Wait over there."

Line#5: I follow a winding line that goes all the way back to where the picture guy is, maybe 40-50 people wrong. This was the same line I thought I had to wait in to get my test, but it seemed to have multiplied. 20 minutes go by, I'm toward the front, and I realize they are scoring the tests by hand and there are only two ladies doing it. You have got to be kidding me. Even my malfunctioning public school has Scan-trons. Half an hour and I'm at the front, the scrawny boy next to me fist pumps, he passed his permit test with 3 wrong, you can get 8 wrong at most. My lady is still grading, I'm getting nervous.

She finishes.

"You got 10 wrong, you have to wait another week to retake it."

After a frustrating car ride home, my mom knocking me in the head, mumbling about waiting 2 hours and I didn't pass, you should have studied more, I have to pay another $32. As if the train of insults in my head weren't enough.

I am now listening to Blink-182 Pandora Radio. Loud. Electric guitars drowning out the "shoulda-coulda-wouldas."

Dejected, Maddened, and Vexed, so glad the DMV and I started off on the right foot.
~Kat.