Knock Knock

Opportunities. They don't come around very often. So when one does come knocking, I don't ever want to send it away. This blog I've realized is a huge opportunity for me. An opportunity for me to be honest, and a place where I don't need to hold anything back. I can be silly and write a Declaration of Knickers if I want to. I can be serious and share something that's really on my mind. But for my posts to be really worth anything, they have to be honest. And to be honest, sometimes you have to be vulnerable.

This realization was all spurred by a movie clip I was shown at my beloved youth group last night. It was from Even Almighty, the movie with Steve Carell playing the "New York Noah" and with Morgan Freeman, of course, as God. So in the movie, Steve is told by Morgan Freeman that he has to build an ark, and he starts growing a beard spontaneously and has animals following him around. He starts building the ark and everyone thinks he's crazy, and his wife thinks he's crazy,so she leaves him temporarily with their boys for him to "sort things out". Then this conversation happens between Morgan Freeman disguised as a charismatic server at a restaurant and the wife. Morgan is being comforting and tells her this:

"If someone prays to God for hope, does He give them hope, or the opportunity to be hopeful? If someone prays for courage, does he give them courage, or the opportunity to be courageous? If someone prays for their family to be closer together (the wife prayed for this at the beginning of the movie) does he shoot down warm fuzzy feelings, or give the opportunity for them to be there for one another?"

It's true. We can't expect things to fall into our laps. We need to take advantage of the opportunities given to us. I've been praying for ways to step out in my faith this year, ways I can let God take more of a precedence in my life, and here I am given opportunity after opportunity, but I am not taking them all. I've been too scared.

But no longer. I want to take this opportunity to be real. Because I realized I haven't really made it known that I am Catholic. I have been kinda suppressing it, because I've been too scared to show it. But being Catholic is a huge part of my life, and how I've grown to become the person I am today. If I can't be real with this part of my life, than I can't be my real self.

So I'm coming out. This is My Honest Poem:

So I have a confession
My closest friends know it
My parents too, but they aren't all for it
If you know me, maybe you could guess it
But I think it's about time I said it
Because I'm tired of feeling like I have to suppress it
Cuz God forbid somebody feel uncomfortable or offended
But I... I am Catholic.

And not just "I go to church some days
Christmas and Easter, but that's it."
No, I am as devoted as an NFL fan
I show up every Sunday
Cheering on my number one man
No, not LT or Rivers
But JC, my Savior.

I am that Catholic
That has a cross on my heart
At the end of a chain.

I am that Catholic
That believes in silver linings and fate
And will put a ring on my finger
Because I believe true love will wait.

But I am not that Catholic
With her nose to the air
I am just that Catholic
That wants to be free to say grace before lunch
In the name of the Father, and in the Son
Without feeling scared.

I don't want people to judge me
Or treat me differently
I'm the same person I was before
Only a little more relieved
And a bit more freed
Because now I don't need to hide
The biggest part of being me.


Praise God, be kind,
~Kat