Pass Me My Quill

What does it take to be able to write something formal? It used to be not so much of a challenge for me as it is now. Back in eight grade, give me a research paper, give me a prompt, give me an excerpt to work with, even better. I slayed it. Consistently. I put knights in shining armor to shame. Timed write, no problem. Give me 45 minutes, I'll finish in 30.

But I must have left my ink well and quill in my cubbie hole outside of room 8, because I look in my backpack now, and all I have are pens. And don't get me wrong, pens are great. They don't call them Papermate for nothing. But my pens seem to be out of synch with my paper, and as a mate, isn't really meeting its needs, if you know what I mean. My pens have taken a stand for what they believe in, even if they aren't completely sure what that may be. They tell it as it is, they have found their voice. If only their voices had British accents, then maybe what I'm saying will sound more scholarly. But even then, it's still a pen.

So I will once again take up my quill, and dip it in a well of brilliance. A well that I need to refill a little bit, but still, a well! Baby steps. So I'll start here: with this very important piece of legislation I have drawn up myself, regarding a deal made behind closed doors. I'm nothing if not traditional. It's regarding my friend Maddie and I. We were chatting about prom, like girls do, and since I had recently ended a relationship in my life, I was looking forward to going to prom with my friends. To which she replied, "Katherine, if you don't get a date, I will eat my own pants." And then this happened:

Declaration of the Eating of Thine Knickers

On this day, the twelfth of the twelfth month of the twelfth year of the twenty first century, Miss Maddison (insert last name) and Miss Katherine (insert last name) of the (insert school) have shaken phalanges and agreed upon the agreement that should Miss Katherine (insert last name) not have a date for Senior Prom, Miss Maddison (insert last name) will consume of thine own knickers. *

*Since knickers have been deemed in-consumable, they may be substituted for something equally silly and effectively humiliating, by a majority vote of two thirds of the affiliated. This shall be decided on the day after Senior Prom, assuming we have thoroughly recovered, and whence the consumption shall commence.

This document is hereby notarized by the following signatures. This document may never be deemed void.

And so that is now written on a piece of lined paper, in black ink, with the finest cursive third grade can teach. Plus now it's on the interweb, so even more proof, haha! Even still, I will keep it forever. And I think I may have found my trick to writing formally: write with a British inner dialogue.This particular document is obviously silly, so I will replace the inner British voice from that of Russel Brand to someone a little more scholarly, like Sir Ken Robinson or Queen Elizabeth.

Ta Ta.
~Kat