This modern world is so sad, so many innocent people are falling into it, and don't even know.
This post was brought on by something that came up on my Newsfeed, one of my "Facebook friends" (really I don't even know her that well) posted that she was "bored" and then a link to ask.fm. I've been seeing this site coming up a lot, so I followed the link to see what it was all about. And what I saw made me sad for this girl I barely know.
She was getting pounded by very personal questions about her relationships, and prom night, and was answering these anonymous questions with all openness, and then having to aggressively defend herself and her choices to this person she can't even see or know. I could feel her frustration and hurt as this person hidden behind a screen was slashing her psyche.
It's terrible in itself that someone would attack her like this in such a despicable way, but what really made me sad was that she just kept answering the questions. And even posting again on Facebook for more people to see her page, see her life and her struggles, and interrogate her about it. She's doing this to herself because she just doesn't know better and she's bored.
I remember a site like this a few years ago, formspring.com, which was pretty much the same thing, and I remember that site being just as destructive. This is the kind of thing this modern world creates, we're losing it here. We are losing sight of what's real, this internet world isn't "real" to us anymore. The words we type don't mean anything to anyone because they aren't "real." We look for a sense of security behind an anonymous comment box, but really nothing is secure there. But we become addicted to the affirmation from all the likes and shares and views we get that we can't shut down an account once it becomes too much because we are already in too deep. We don't see that this "luxury" is really just a trap.
We lose sight of what real love is, what marriage is, what dating is, and what the purpose is of love at all. We are shown in TV shows the glamour of summer love and flings and hook-ups and high school relationships and sex and all that, but its all just movie magic, guys. Real love is willing to sacrifice anything, even yourself, for someone else. It's giving everything.
That's why they say "you know when you know" because if you think about it, this self-sacrificial love is completely counter-cultural. We don't sacrifice, we accommodate. So many people date in high school, including myself, with the mindset that this person is good enough, they fit into my life easily, it's fun, and now I have a plus-one wherever I go. But at least in my last relationship, and I bet I'm not the only one, I wasn't willing to sacrifice for my boyfriend. I was still seeing my other guy friends, letting myself be swooned by their charm. I wouldn't sacrifice those friends, those feelings, for him. I didn't love him. So I was just wasting both of our time, because at the heart of it, I was bored with my life and he kept things interesting. I lost sight of what love was.
Really, I think the heart of our problems is losing sight of what's real, and what is not and just made up by culture. Look at the top issues right now: abortion (what is life?), same-sex attraction (what is love?), right to bear arms (what is freedom?).
And now I'll end with that last one: freedom. Why are we all so lost? Why do we fall into these traps? Because we lose sight of what the truth is. In this world, what's true for me can be different than what's true for you. That leaves truth to be relative to the person, in other words, there is no absolute truth anymore. It's easier to think this way because our world is so diverse, and it diverts conflicts, but it also makes it so that if you know what the truth is, you aren't allowed to share that, because that would be "forcing your beliefs" on someone. You can't say anything, even if you know that if they just knew the truth, that would save them a lot of trouble.
Can't say to that girl that ask.fm is a trap you're letting yourself fall into.
Can't say to a friend in a bad relationship that you don't really love each other, this is a waste of time, neither of you are willing to sacrifice, and you are worth better.
Can't say to a friend who has an accidental pregnancy that abortion is murder. Life does begin at conception, not only do our hearts know it, but science does too. And nobody has the right to choose to kill someone. No matter how inconvenient that may be. You would regret that decision the rest of your life, and really it won't fix anything.
I can easily be persecuted and ridiculed for that last one. So much that I wouldn't catch myself saying that in public out of fear.
So now let me ask some questions: Do any of us really have freedom of speech? Freedom of religion? Freedom to live? Freedom to delete a self-destructive account? Freedom to know the truth?
I have hope that someday we can honestly answer in full confidence yes to all those questions. Because people tell me a lot that I have my head screwed on straight, I'm kind, I have my life together, even in the struggles I stay strong. People that I watch struggle themselves, people I care a lot about, tell me this. It's hard for me to watch them trudge through like I used to before I "figured it out."
If only I felt like I had the freedom to tell them the truth of how I live my life now and how I figured things out, I would have hope that they could figure it out soon too. But until then, I'll just have to drop hints and wait.
Patiently hopeful
~Kat
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