Number one: You have just won the lottery. You were "randomly" chosen to be sitting in that seat, in this class, with these people, and that teacher, for which you have seriously lucked out. You'll realize how lucky you are soon enough, for there are many lessons you will learn in this class that you will carry with you the rest of your life. I say with no exaggeration that you will be changed, in some way, by the end of the year. Don't fight it, embrace it. You being in this class is not as "random" as it may seem, you probably need this class more than you know.
Number two: This is not an English class. Read it on your schedule: AP English LANGUAGE. Notice "language" in all caps. This is a class where you learn how to communicate effectively in the world. Whether that be at a job/college interview, a debate, a Facebook status, or effectively dumping a boyfriend/girlfriend (Hint: Don't text them). Everything you learn in this class is useful, so pay attention. Ms. Beltran is not the kind of teacher who is going to feed you bullshit to up her test grades, she is a smart woman and well aware of what a glorious waste of time that would be for both of you.
Number three: Ms. Beltran is a person outside of being your teacher. This may be difficult to realize, but she too has feelings, favorites, and hunger pangs in 4th period just like everybody else. She might not want to be there some days, just like you. But she doesn't get to check out, so you better not. She has two beautiful children she could be spending her day with (I'm sure you will see many pictures of them), but she's here in a stuffy room with a bunchy of smelly teenagers. For some reason she likes us and keeps coming back. She is also human, and makes mistakes, but she has the decency and respect for you that she will admit when a mistake is made. So try to look at things from her perspective sometimes, and not just with her but with all your teachers. You're life will be a lot more pleasant, trust me.
She is also very smart and has a lot to offer you. She was a student as well, and very successful. We all want to make it in life, get the good SAT scores, get into the college of our dreams, have the job of our dreams. Ms. Beltran has made it. She will help you make it, too if you let her. Ms. Beltran makes things happen.
And lastly some useful tips:
If she suggests you should do something (i.e. read an article, check out a blog, research a speech) that means do it. It could very easily be what tomorrow's entire class discussion is centered around. Don't be left in the dark twiddling your thumbs, and don't try to pretend that you did it either. She will know. She always knows.
Take her advice. You will regret not taking it later, and she won't hesitate to tell you "I told you so."
One thing she'll tell you to do is read a lot. You won't want to. Do it. If you want to learn how to communicate effectively, what better way than to witness how the pros do it. Plus you'll have something impressive to say in conversations. I definitely received and "I told you so" for this one. Don't get caught with your tail between your legs.
And I cannot stress this last thing more:
She will invest in you what you invest in her class. Probably more. Invest a lot, you get a lot out of it, and will love this class. Invest little, you will gain little, watch everyone around you getting more than you, and then this will just be another period you have to lug your 20 lb. backpack to.
Like anything, the choice is yours. Just make the right one.
Good luck, and enjoy
~Kat
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Ask me a question! :)
This modern world is so sad, so many innocent people are falling into it, and don't even know.
This post was brought on by something that came up on my Newsfeed, one of my "Facebook friends" (really I don't even know her that well) posted that she was "bored" and then a link to ask.fm. I've been seeing this site coming up a lot, so I followed the link to see what it was all about. And what I saw made me sad for this girl I barely know.
She was getting pounded by very personal questions about her relationships, and prom night, and was answering these anonymous questions with all openness, and then having to aggressively defend herself and her choices to this person she can't even see or know. I could feel her frustration and hurt as this person hidden behind a screen was slashing her psyche.
It's terrible in itself that someone would attack her like this in such a despicable way, but what really made me sad was that she just kept answering the questions. And even posting again on Facebook for more people to see her page, see her life and her struggles, and interrogate her about it. She's doing this to herself because she just doesn't know better and she's bored.
I remember a site like this a few years ago, formspring.com, which was pretty much the same thing, and I remember that site being just as destructive. This is the kind of thing this modern world creates, we're losing it here. We are losing sight of what's real, this internet world isn't "real" to us anymore. The words we type don't mean anything to anyone because they aren't "real." We look for a sense of security behind an anonymous comment box, but really nothing is secure there. But we become addicted to the affirmation from all the likes and shares and views we get that we can't shut down an account once it becomes too much because we are already in too deep. We don't see that this "luxury" is really just a trap.
We lose sight of what real love is, what marriage is, what dating is, and what the purpose is of love at all. We are shown in TV shows the glamour of summer love and flings and hook-ups and high school relationships and sex and all that, but its all just movie magic, guys. Real love is willing to sacrifice anything, even yourself, for someone else. It's giving everything.
That's why they say "you know when you know" because if you think about it, this self-sacrificial love is completely counter-cultural. We don't sacrifice, we accommodate. So many people date in high school, including myself, with the mindset that this person is good enough, they fit into my life easily, it's fun, and now I have a plus-one wherever I go. But at least in my last relationship, and I bet I'm not the only one, I wasn't willing to sacrifice for my boyfriend. I was still seeing my other guy friends, letting myself be swooned by their charm. I wouldn't sacrifice those friends, those feelings, for him. I didn't love him. So I was just wasting both of our time, because at the heart of it, I was bored with my life and he kept things interesting. I lost sight of what love was.
Really, I think the heart of our problems is losing sight of what's real, and what is not and just made up by culture. Look at the top issues right now: abortion (what is life?), same-sex attraction (what is love?), right to bear arms (what is freedom?).
And now I'll end with that last one: freedom. Why are we all so lost? Why do we fall into these traps? Because we lose sight of what the truth is. In this world, what's true for me can be different than what's true for you. That leaves truth to be relative to the person, in other words, there is no absolute truth anymore. It's easier to think this way because our world is so diverse, and it diverts conflicts, but it also makes it so that if you know what the truth is, you aren't allowed to share that, because that would be "forcing your beliefs" on someone. You can't say anything, even if you know that if they just knew the truth, that would save them a lot of trouble.
Can't say to that girl that ask.fm is a trap you're letting yourself fall into.
Can't say to a friend in a bad relationship that you don't really love each other, this is a waste of time, neither of you are willing to sacrifice, and you are worth better.
Can't say to a friend who has an accidental pregnancy that abortion is murder. Life does begin at conception, not only do our hearts know it, but science does too. And nobody has the right to choose to kill someone. No matter how inconvenient that may be. You would regret that decision the rest of your life, and really it won't fix anything.
I can easily be persecuted and ridiculed for that last one. So much that I wouldn't catch myself saying that in public out of fear.
So now let me ask some questions: Do any of us really have freedom of speech? Freedom of religion? Freedom to live? Freedom to delete a self-destructive account? Freedom to know the truth?
I have hope that someday we can honestly answer in full confidence yes to all those questions. Because people tell me a lot that I have my head screwed on straight, I'm kind, I have my life together, even in the struggles I stay strong. People that I watch struggle themselves, people I care a lot about, tell me this. It's hard for me to watch them trudge through like I used to before I "figured it out."
If only I felt like I had the freedom to tell them the truth of how I live my life now and how I figured things out, I would have hope that they could figure it out soon too. But until then, I'll just have to drop hints and wait.
Patiently hopeful
~Kat
This post was brought on by something that came up on my Newsfeed, one of my "Facebook friends" (really I don't even know her that well) posted that she was "bored" and then a link to ask.fm. I've been seeing this site coming up a lot, so I followed the link to see what it was all about. And what I saw made me sad for this girl I barely know.
She was getting pounded by very personal questions about her relationships, and prom night, and was answering these anonymous questions with all openness, and then having to aggressively defend herself and her choices to this person she can't even see or know. I could feel her frustration and hurt as this person hidden behind a screen was slashing her psyche.
It's terrible in itself that someone would attack her like this in such a despicable way, but what really made me sad was that she just kept answering the questions. And even posting again on Facebook for more people to see her page, see her life and her struggles, and interrogate her about it. She's doing this to herself because she just doesn't know better and she's bored.
I remember a site like this a few years ago, formspring.com, which was pretty much the same thing, and I remember that site being just as destructive. This is the kind of thing this modern world creates, we're losing it here. We are losing sight of what's real, this internet world isn't "real" to us anymore. The words we type don't mean anything to anyone because they aren't "real." We look for a sense of security behind an anonymous comment box, but really nothing is secure there. But we become addicted to the affirmation from all the likes and shares and views we get that we can't shut down an account once it becomes too much because we are already in too deep. We don't see that this "luxury" is really just a trap.
We lose sight of what real love is, what marriage is, what dating is, and what the purpose is of love at all. We are shown in TV shows the glamour of summer love and flings and hook-ups and high school relationships and sex and all that, but its all just movie magic, guys. Real love is willing to sacrifice anything, even yourself, for someone else. It's giving everything.
That's why they say "you know when you know" because if you think about it, this self-sacrificial love is completely counter-cultural. We don't sacrifice, we accommodate. So many people date in high school, including myself, with the mindset that this person is good enough, they fit into my life easily, it's fun, and now I have a plus-one wherever I go. But at least in my last relationship, and I bet I'm not the only one, I wasn't willing to sacrifice for my boyfriend. I was still seeing my other guy friends, letting myself be swooned by their charm. I wouldn't sacrifice those friends, those feelings, for him. I didn't love him. So I was just wasting both of our time, because at the heart of it, I was bored with my life and he kept things interesting. I lost sight of what love was.
Really, I think the heart of our problems is losing sight of what's real, and what is not and just made up by culture. Look at the top issues right now: abortion (what is life?), same-sex attraction (what is love?), right to bear arms (what is freedom?).
And now I'll end with that last one: freedom. Why are we all so lost? Why do we fall into these traps? Because we lose sight of what the truth is. In this world, what's true for me can be different than what's true for you. That leaves truth to be relative to the person, in other words, there is no absolute truth anymore. It's easier to think this way because our world is so diverse, and it diverts conflicts, but it also makes it so that if you know what the truth is, you aren't allowed to share that, because that would be "forcing your beliefs" on someone. You can't say anything, even if you know that if they just knew the truth, that would save them a lot of trouble.
Can't say to that girl that ask.fm is a trap you're letting yourself fall into.
Can't say to a friend in a bad relationship that you don't really love each other, this is a waste of time, neither of you are willing to sacrifice, and you are worth better.
Can't say to a friend who has an accidental pregnancy that abortion is murder. Life does begin at conception, not only do our hearts know it, but science does too. And nobody has the right to choose to kill someone. No matter how inconvenient that may be. You would regret that decision the rest of your life, and really it won't fix anything.
I can easily be persecuted and ridiculed for that last one. So much that I wouldn't catch myself saying that in public out of fear.
So now let me ask some questions: Do any of us really have freedom of speech? Freedom of religion? Freedom to live? Freedom to delete a self-destructive account? Freedom to know the truth?
I have hope that someday we can honestly answer in full confidence yes to all those questions. Because people tell me a lot that I have my head screwed on straight, I'm kind, I have my life together, even in the struggles I stay strong. People that I watch struggle themselves, people I care a lot about, tell me this. It's hard for me to watch them trudge through like I used to before I "figured it out."
If only I felt like I had the freedom to tell them the truth of how I live my life now and how I figured things out, I would have hope that they could figure it out soon too. But until then, I'll just have to drop hints and wait.
Patiently hopeful
~Kat
Monday, August 5, 2013
Lightbulb!
I'm sure anyone who's been following this blog for some time, or who knows me outside of a computer screen, can attest to the fact that I'm pretty much an open book. I have no problem sharing things about myself with other people, I always thought of that as one of my better qualities. I'm open and I'm trusting.
Something else that you all may have noticed about me lately (and many times in the past) is that I have been falling for my friends. That is, letting myself fall in love with some of my guy friends. And it has always led to awkwardness, disappointment, and then a distance between us that can never be crossed again. It's not a very fun ride.
What had never occurred to me before, and was revealed to me in a chastity talk of all things, was that my problem and my "better quality" goes hand in hand. This chastity talk was not my first, and probably won't be my last. But it was the first that ever talked more about emotional chastity than it did physical chastity and modesty.
Emotional chastity is an amazing thing, it's a shame it isn't spoken of more often. Leave it to me to unearth the unspoken. But I really think a good understanding of this can help a lot of girls and guys like it's cleared things up for me.
So "chastity" isn't just not having sex. Chastity is loving in a way appropriate to the relationship; that includes physical and emotional.
The emotional part of chastity is best explained as "guarding your heart." Making sure that what you share of yourself and your emotions is appropriate to the relationship, whether that be an acquaintance, a friendship, a dating relationship, an engagement, or a marriage.
This is what I've been doing wrong, how I've been "unchaste." I was going ahead and sharing the deepest parts of my heart with my guy friends. I was trusting them with a lot. Looking to them for affirmation, guidance, safety. Of course my feelings would get out of hand. And so next the big question was: Why was I telling him this? What was my real motive, what was I looking for? And why wasn't I just going to one of my girl friends?
Most of the time I was looking for affirmation, an ego boost, someone to blast away my insecurities. Or I would be looking for a "body guard" type person, to make me feel safe when I was scared. Or the worst would be looking to see how I should change myself to be better suited and made worthy their affections.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS! They are but 17 year old boys! They aren't perfect, or incredibly wise, or incredibly trustworthy. They mess up, a lot. What ever made me think I could give them ALL of my heart, just so they could mess that up too? Let me down when they aren't the perfect gentleman? Disappoint me when their best advice to me is "oh, that sucks"?
It sounds really ridiculous once you lay it all out for what it is, doesn't it? But I can guarantee I am not the only one that's experienced this. We have all at one point in our lives let ourselves give a little too much.
This isn't to say I won't trust boys ever again. That they are silly irresponsible little creatures with nothing to offer, and aren't worth my time. It's just that they aren't worth spending all my time worrying about them.
They don't need to know everything about me, don't we want to leave a little mystery? We don't need them to affirm us. I'm sure our girlfriends, or our moms, can do just as good a job. We don't need their silly "oh, that sucks" advice. If you need advice from them, it better be on which team to bet on for the World Series or what sandwich I should make for lunch.
Guys, I love you, but I am not having y'all listen to my emotional dramas anymore. No more heartbreak. No more friendships broken by awkwardness and too much information. No more need to write posts or songs about you. Because Taylor Swift knows you could do that the rest of your life if your not careful.
I hope this could help anyone who's been through the same stuff as me, and could get you out of the ridiculous cycle of boy troubles so that you can start living a little more freely.
Much love and new found freedom,
Kat
Something else that you all may have noticed about me lately (and many times in the past) is that I have been falling for my friends. That is, letting myself fall in love with some of my guy friends. And it has always led to awkwardness, disappointment, and then a distance between us that can never be crossed again. It's not a very fun ride.
What had never occurred to me before, and was revealed to me in a chastity talk of all things, was that my problem and my "better quality" goes hand in hand. This chastity talk was not my first, and probably won't be my last. But it was the first that ever talked more about emotional chastity than it did physical chastity and modesty.
Emotional chastity is an amazing thing, it's a shame it isn't spoken of more often. Leave it to me to unearth the unspoken. But I really think a good understanding of this can help a lot of girls and guys like it's cleared things up for me.
So "chastity" isn't just not having sex. Chastity is loving in a way appropriate to the relationship; that includes physical and emotional.
The emotional part of chastity is best explained as "guarding your heart." Making sure that what you share of yourself and your emotions is appropriate to the relationship, whether that be an acquaintance, a friendship, a dating relationship, an engagement, or a marriage.
This is what I've been doing wrong, how I've been "unchaste." I was going ahead and sharing the deepest parts of my heart with my guy friends. I was trusting them with a lot. Looking to them for affirmation, guidance, safety. Of course my feelings would get out of hand. And so next the big question was: Why was I telling him this? What was my real motive, what was I looking for? And why wasn't I just going to one of my girl friends?
Most of the time I was looking for affirmation, an ego boost, someone to blast away my insecurities. Or I would be looking for a "body guard" type person, to make me feel safe when I was scared. Or the worst would be looking to see how I should change myself to be better suited and made worthy their affections.
THIS IS RIDICULOUS! They are but 17 year old boys! They aren't perfect, or incredibly wise, or incredibly trustworthy. They mess up, a lot. What ever made me think I could give them ALL of my heart, just so they could mess that up too? Let me down when they aren't the perfect gentleman? Disappoint me when their best advice to me is "oh, that sucks"?
It sounds really ridiculous once you lay it all out for what it is, doesn't it? But I can guarantee I am not the only one that's experienced this. We have all at one point in our lives let ourselves give a little too much.
This isn't to say I won't trust boys ever again. That they are silly irresponsible little creatures with nothing to offer, and aren't worth my time. It's just that they aren't worth spending all my time worrying about them.
They don't need to know everything about me, don't we want to leave a little mystery? We don't need them to affirm us. I'm sure our girlfriends, or our moms, can do just as good a job. We don't need their silly "oh, that sucks" advice. If you need advice from them, it better be on which team to bet on for the World Series or what sandwich I should make for lunch.
Guys, I love you, but I am not having y'all listen to my emotional dramas anymore. No more heartbreak. No more friendships broken by awkwardness and too much information. No more need to write posts or songs about you. Because Taylor Swift knows you could do that the rest of your life if your not careful.
I hope this could help anyone who's been through the same stuff as me, and could get you out of the ridiculous cycle of boy troubles so that you can start living a little more freely.
Much love and new found freedom,
Kat
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