Have you ever witnessed something you know you weren't supposed to see? Something that you can't quickly un-see?
About a month ago, I was driving home from a friend's house rather late at night, maybe 11 p.m. or so. The whole neighborhood was asleep. Then I see someone running down the sidewalk, which was kind of unusual since it was so late. As I drive by, I realize its a heavy-set girl, and I start to recognize her. She goes to my school. I don't know her name, I have never met her, don't know what grade she's in, but I have seen her in the halls.
First it was just, huh, that's peculiar. Then it was I wonder why she'd be running so late at night. Then I started to connect the dots. She's a high school girl, in sunny swimsuit San Diego. She doesn't have the body of a Victoria's Secret Angel. She wants to be healthier, thinner, so she goes for a run at the only hour she could be sure no one will see.
I said to myself out loud in my car, at 11 p.m., "Wow." There was nothing more to say. Nothing more to think. At least not right then. But by the time I was home, her image was branded into my head, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since.
I'm not exactly sure why this has stuck with me as strongly as it has a month later. It was but a second of my life, a second that happened to intertwine with a moment of her's. I felt sad, upset, and inspired all at the same time. And it's because while that was just a second of my life, that is her life.
She has probably had to deal with dumb kids making fun of her, enough to make her recede into the night. She has to see the skinny girls at school in their crop tops exposing their perfect waists that look like they were personally pinched between God's own fore-finger and thumb. Something He conveniently forgot to do to her. She's had to watch the boys crane their necks at these girls, while they look right through her. Every day.
I don't know this girl, but I'm inspired by her. She wakes up every day and deals with stuff like that. She gets up at 11 o'clock at night to go for a run, something I haven't even been able to motivate myself to do even in the day time. She's dealing with what God gave her, and is doing her best to stay healthy. And I incredibly respect and admire that. She can't go to a gym, because the only people who go to the gym are already fit. And ironically, that's enough of a reason to stay away and avoid comparisons. She can't even go out for a run at a convenient daylight hour just around her neighborhood. She's probably had people tell her there's no use, you won't lose the weight.
But she went out anyway. And she ran, leaving all that behind her.
She may not know it, but she has a fan cheering her on. I hope she finds her finish line.
~Kat
