"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But to a Christian, God says, "No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with Me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow Me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing...one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that's all. Don't be anxious, don't worry
Don't look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don't look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to Me,
Or you'll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me
And the life I prepared for you,
You won't be able to experience the love that exemplified your relationship with Me.
And this is perfect love.
And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love,
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly. I AM God.
Believe it and be satisfied."
This was written by Saint Anthony of Padua.
I wish I had written it. The love he talks about is true. It exists. The promises he talks about are already made and will not be broken. I not only believe it, but have been lucky enough to have seen this materialize in my own life.
My freshman year I didn't have many friends, there was nothing I had a passion for, I went to school and I didn't know why or what the point was. I just knew I wanted love and wanted purpose. Then I was asked to give God a chance, and because I had nothing left to lose, I did.
Freshman year, I wouldn't have believed St. Anthony. I wouldn't have trusted that all these things could happen. I wouldn't have believed all the beautiful friendships I have, wouldn't have believed I would be writing a blog and people would be reading it. I wouldn't have believed I would stand up in front of people and talk about my faith. I wouldn't have believed I would play music in weddings. I wouldn't have believed that I could look at someone and want to love them but know deep down that I can't, and experience the heartbreak of realizing that wasn't love. I wouldn't have believed that God could heal heartbreak or teach me what love truly is. I wouldn't have believed that heartbreak was God getting me ready for anything greater than being forever alone. I wouldn't have believed that as I'm writing this, I would be looking across the room at someone I know I love, and I know loves me, and I know God had prepared us both to experience that love.
I wouldn't have believed God would give me any gift that great.
But He did.
And if this is true, there truly wasn't anything to lose, but everything to gain.
Believe it and be satisfied.
~Kat
