I got lost on the way to my first class. I somehow ended up in the music building (I think my subconcious was leading me to where I actually wanted to be). Anyways, after finding the right building, I tripped up the Women's stairs. I say Women's stairs becasue the sign for the stairway also indicated a women's restroom. At first glance it looked like the stairs were gender specific, just waiting for me to be able to fully express my femininity as I climbed them. I got a nice little chuckle out of that one. But the Women's stairs betrayed me, because when I tripped up them, any illusion that I was cool, calm, and collected was chucked out the window.
I was one of the last people to show up to class, so I plopped down in the back of the room. I was nervous being in a room filled with people I didn't know (except for the girl sitting next to me, I knew a little bit about her). I was brought back to that Freshman english class on my first day of high school where I knew not a soul, and any progress I had made the past few years with coming out of my shell and gaining some social skills seemed to have been left at home.
Then an angel in disguise stumbled into our class about 15 minutes before it was over. I vaguely recognized him as someone who was in my high school class. Then I remembered he was a senior standout, so a pretty popular dude. He was super frazzled and sat down in the last seat available right up front. He started rustling around in his backpack and then looked around and realized everyone is staring at him. Hi, are you in the right class? my teacher asks. No, he was not. After about five minutes of confusion, he realized his class started in a half hour and he was very early. So he packed up his stuff and awkwardly left.
I cannot tell you how much that poor little lost soul of a boy helped me out. This kid was very popular in high school: he had a beautiful girlfriend, tons of friends, was a total Rico Suave. But even he was out of his element, and it looked like the first day was hitting him much harder than it was hitting me. I couldn't help but smile.
Truth is, nobody is cool on the first day. No one. Not even Rico Suave. So really, there's no use in trying. Because face it, you're not cool. Any illusion that you were cool in high school is gone, because this isn't high school, and you probably weren't even that cool in the first place.
The rest of my first week was magic. The nerves were gone and I was able to meet some really nice people because I was freed from trying to keep up the facade of being cool, whatever that is. I was just trying to be myself. The kind of person who tripped up the Women's stairs and then on the way back down hit herself with the door.
~Kat
